Celebrity Boxing: Naomi, Bunning, and Rangel

I have never been a fan of celebrity boxing, but I would like to make an exception in this one case. I suggest a 10 round bout with no head gear or extra-padded gloves between runway lunatic Naomi Campbell and Kentucky Senator Jim “Let Them Eat Cake” Bunning. The winner of the bout would face Congress’ latest political leper, House Representative Charles “What, Me Worry?” Rangel. And since the champion should win some sort of award, I recommend a trophy--one in the shape of a burro’s back-end.

Campbell, who obviously fancies herself the reincarnation of Cleopatra, believes it is her divine right to haul-off and belt her minions at the slightest provocation. Her alleged attack against her limo driver a few days ago is hardly her only brush with the law. In 1998 Campbell plead guilty to assaulting a personal assistant with a telephone and of threatening to throw the woman out of a moving car. (Campbell was later sued by another personal assistant who accepted an out-of-court settlement) Evidently unhappy with the limited damage caused by the phone, Campbell upgraded to a BlackBerry and beat her housekeeper with it in 2006. Photos were shown of the blood-drenched shirt collar the victim wore during the attack. Campbell plead guilty to the charge. And perhaps her finest assault happened at Heathrow Airport in 2008 when she was arrested for accosting two police officers. She plead guilty to that charge as well. I have a feeling that when Sean Connery made his ill-advised comment that “I don’t think there is anything particularly wrong in hitting a woman,” he had Naomi Campbell in mind.


It’s unfortunate for Republican Senator Jim Bunning that he is a former baseball player and not a former boxer. At least if he was a fighter he could blame some of his more bone-headed comments and decisions on having received too many punches to the head. In 2004 during the gubernatorial campaign he made the brilliant observation that his Democratic opponent, Daniel Mongiardo, “looked like one of Saddam Hussein’s sons”. Callous? Sure. But not as callous as when he predicted that Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg, a pancreatic cancer victim, would be dead by the end of the year. Well, the blowhard Kentucky senator outdid himself this time, graduating from making asinine comments to making asinine decisions. On Friday, Feb 26 Bunning refused to sign-off on a $10 billion extension of emergency federal programs, including unemployment insurance benefits, citing the extension as an example of poor fiscal discipline. It did not matter to Bunning that unemployment benefits are the only safety net protecting many Americans from declaring personal bankruptcy. When confronted about the damage he would cause to Americans by objecting to the benefit’s extension, Bunning reportedly replied, “tough shit”. Although Bunning relented yesterday, clearing the path for unemployment to be extended for another 30 days, he should be verbally tarred and feathered for his stupidity.

So slick is Democrat Charlie Rangel that it must be difficult to stand next to him without falling down. He’s the kind of guy who can convince you that the sun is shining brightly even as you stand under an umbrella in the middle of a thunderstorm. Today Rangel announced that he will temporarily step down as chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee, citing the ethics investigation into his actions as a distraction for fellow-Democrats who are up for re-election. Republicans have been after Rangel since last year “when the House ethics panel expanded its investigation into his trips, assets and income, use of rent-controlled apartments in New York and his solicitation of contributions for university center to be named after him.” Even Democrats began calling for the 20-term Harlem representative with the Cheshire Cat smile to step down following the ethics committee’s ruling on Friday that “Rangel violated standards of conduct by accepting 2007 and 2008 trips to Caribbean conferences that were financed by corporations.” Although the committee could not prove that Rangel knew of the corporate payments, it was satisfied that his staffers knew about it. And to put it simply: You are responsible for those who work for you.

So now we have our three participants for the Celebrity Boxing event. If we need more than three competitors, there are plenty of others to be found among our news and gossip pages.

I hope I receive some royalty checks if this event ever happens.

I better talk to Charlie.
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